7 Signs That You Are Abandoning Yourself
“Self-abandonment happens when we ignore our own needs and silence our inner desires.”
Self-abandonment. It is not something we talk about often and yet most of us do it every day. It can be something as simple as agreeing to watch your sisters kids instead of going to your planned yoga class. Or it can be as big as silencing yourself in an argument and apologizing when you’re not wrong.
Self-abandonment happens when we ignore our own needs and silence our inner desires. Driven by our deep seeded need to please, we set aside our own wants to prioritize the happiness of others. This type of behavior causes us to lose our voices, our sense of self, and our personal identity. Self-abandonment is the first step down the wrong path in life.
HERE ARE 7 SIGNS THAT YOU HAVE ABANDONED YOURSELF
1. YOU HAVE LOST SIGHT OF WHAT YOU ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT
When you are continuously giving your time to the wants and needs of others, you lose the time you need to explore the things you love. Often this can cause you to forget what it is that truly sets your soul on fire. What you are passionate about. Those things that you do that fill you with pure joy, are the very things that make you who you are.
2. YOU KEEP YOUR OPINIONS, NEEDS AND HURTS TO YOURSELF
One of the first signs of abandoning yourself, is silencing yourself. When you do not believe that your opinion matters or that your needs are relevant, you are abandoning the very essence of who you are. You are allowed to have an opinion. Your voice needs to be heard. Your needs need to be spoken. Do not silence yourself in an attempt to please others, use your voice to please yourself.
3. YOU HAVE STOPPED TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF
When we abandon ourselves and what we need in order to prioritize the needs of others, we start to feel lost, resentful and exhausted. We believe that it is our job to make sure that others are ok and yet, we do not question if we are ok. You cannot care for others if you first do not care for yourself. Self-care is nurturing your soul. It’s doing the very things that connect you to yourself. That remind you of who YOU are, not who the world is telling you to be. Prioritizing yourself is an act of love.
4. YOU FEEL AS THOUGH LIFE IS SIMPLY PASSING YOU BY
Do you ever stop and ask yourself, how did I get here? When you spend your life attempting to please others, you stray from your path. Your true calling. You can spend years walking in the wrong direction until one day you look up and have no idea where you are. It’s only in having the courage to stop pleasing others, and start following your calling, that you will find your way back.
5. YOU FIND YOURSELF LOOKING AT A STRANGER IN THE MIRROR
Self-abandonment is never more obvious then when you look at yourself in the mirror. How do you feel when you see yourself? Do you look how you feel? Do you see yourself or someone you don’t know? When we spend years abandoning who we truly are, we become a stranger in our own skin.
6. YOU TRY TO FILL THE HOLE WITH “THINGS”
When we abandon ourselves we lose our sense of identity. And when we are feeling lost we can often turn to drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping and/or food to fill the hole. We long to feel whole again so we try to find something that will do just that. Only in finding your voice, honoring your needs, and following your calling can you start to feel whole again.
7. YOUR MIND IS CONSTANTLY FILLED WITH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Often times the silencing of ourselves starts with thoughts like, “Your opinion doesn’t matter”, “Their needs are more important”, and “You don’t deserve time to yourself”. These negative thoughts lead us to believing that the only way we will be worthy is if we make others happy. Thus, abandoning ourselves to do so. Your mindset is everything. Change your thoughts, change your life.
Be still and listen. Do you hear that? The voice inside of you. That is the only voice that has the power to tell you how to live your life, because that is the voice of your soul. That is the voice that knows the truest version of who you are. That is the voice that will guide you back home to yourself.
Stacey Foley is a Certified Meditation & Spiritual Wellness Teacher, Inspirational Speaker & Wellness Blogger.